The lineup
Two lead singers. The founders who let it happen. And the question no one will answer.
LitBlimp was founded in 1969 by four men who could not agree on a name. The name they eventually agreed on was a misunderstanding — drummer Nigel St. Bernard had pointed at a passing airship and said "lit blimp." The other three, who had been arguing about typography for six hours, accepted this as a band name and never looked back.
The band currently has two lead singers, a situation no one planned and no one intends to resolve. Beauregard Rushworth XXIII maintains that he is the lead singer of LitBlimp. Lady Trinity Nightingale maintains, with equal conviction and a wider range, that she is. Both are entirely correct in their own telling and entirely wrong in the other's. Founding vocalist Stillborn Kowalski, now emeritus, has declined to break the tie, on the grounds that it is the only interesting thing left about the band.
The band's sound — described variously as "slow heavy metal underwater," "a hairdryer left on too long," and "the only honest music in the catalog" — has remained essentially unchanged across fifty-five years and three lineup changes. The band considers consistency a virtue and growth a passing fashion.
They are based wherever the bus is parked. As of this writing, the bus is parked in Carson, California, in a lot adjacent to one used for worship by Water2Fine — the wholesome parking-lot outfit LitBlimp spent twenty years declining to name. The band names them now, once, to be clear: the airspace is ours, the helium is ours, the volume is ours, and the parking, regrettably, is shared. We wish Water2Fine well. We wish them well in another county.
Lead Vocals (Allegedly)
Beauregard Rushworth XXIII
Joined in 2019 as 'a lead singer' and has since quietly dropped the article. Twenty-third of his name; the prior twenty-two are not discussed and may not have existed. Holds that the band is, in spirit, named after him. On X: @brxxiii.
Has never once said the name 'Lady Trinity Nightingale' aloud.
Lead Vocals (Actually)
Lady Trinity Nightingale
A three-octave range, none of it requested. Joined the same week as Beauregard in 2019 — a coincidence each treats as a deliberate act of aggression by the other. Considers the lead-singer question settled, in her favor, permanently. On X: @ladytnight.
Refers to her co-lead only as 'the opening act.'
Founding Vocals · Kazoo · Emeritus
Stillborn Kowalski
Founding member. Born in Cleveland, raised on a barge. Sang lead from 1969 until he simply stopped attending. Has refused, since 1974, to confirm or deny that the kazoo solo on "Helium Dreams" was performed by him. Declines to name a successor, which is precisely why there are two.
Guitar · Feedback
Reverend Smoke
Founding member. Claims to have invented feedback. Patent pending since 1971. Has never been seen without sunglasses, including in dental X-rays.
Bass · Vague Religious Affiliation
Brittle Halsey
Replaced the original bassist in 1978. Owns the only known left-handed fretless bass made out of brass. Plays it with a hammer.
Original bassist: drowned in mercury, 1978.
Drums · Aviation
Nigel St. Bernard
Third drummer. Founding member-adjacent. Pilots his own kit between cities — the kit, not him. The kit flies. He drives a Civic.
Drummers 1 and 2: transcended.
Backing Vocals · Demonstrably Superior
Terence Trent Arby
Joined in 2021. Possesses, by universal critical agreement, the finest voice in the band — which is precisely why he is stationed at the very back, behind the amplifiers, facing partly away from the audience. On X: @ttarbys.
The only subject on which both lead singers have ever agreed.
Helium Quartermaster · Front of House
Deacon Mallory Pyke
Not a founding member — one of the three lineup changes, and the only one who came aboard carrying a clipboard rather than an instrument. Signed on in 1981 to manage the band's helium and never left. Holds that the LitBlimp sound is not made by the amplifiers but by the gas — that the low underwater drone the critics keep mistaking for guitar is in fact the room resonating at a pressure only he is authorized to set. Runs the front-of-house desk from inside the gondola. Insists the mix is 'correct' and the audience is 'standing in the wrong place.' Keeps the bus in Carson topped, tanked, and, per his logbook, 'buoyant to spec.'
Sole keeper of the fill valve; will not disclose the pressure, on the grounds that the parking-lot outfit two spaces over has 'ears.'